Rick walked along Snake Way. He reflected on his life....
As he grew up in the perfectly normal household of The Hidekis. His father, Soichero met his mother, Pigwife, in Japan, at an Uptight Asians meeting. They fell in love and moved to England. They raised two perfectly normal children, a son and a daughter, and a rebellious middle child named Ryuzaki. They sheltered their children from all things alien. Fucking xenophobes. Anyway, Ryuzaki began being normal. And he never knew another life. Until he was abducted.
Rick was sneaking off to watch an alien movie when a glowing cloud flew overhead, dropping dead animals onto the street. A winged man had jumped out, running at Rick, shrieking and waving a black sack. He was promptly stuffed into it.
And now he was the leader of a moon colony of hippies.
The road was getting tedious, now. He saw a sweeper car, and figured it was just a trap for Mormons. I mean, morons. Same thing, really. Thetan level. That's Scientology, stupid Ryuzaki.
OFFEND ALL THE BIYATCHES.
Rick then happened upon a large house. "That's a trap," he decided, looking at the snake. It blinked at him. Ryuzaki made a note to write its name in the.... "What?" he asked. He shrugged and continued onwards. "Right. Forwards."
Rick found a rock. It was a giant moment. Giant. There was a lot of hype. Gigantic hype. Giant.
Rick also found a bucket of porn and figured it was Roshi. He threw it down the clouds. He fell down the clouds. "Fucking fuck!"
"Language, man!" Rick was reprimanded by two German demons. Rick sighed. He walked away and found a hidden door. He made it back to Yemma then onto Snake Way. All he could hear these days was laughing. And laughing. And laughing. And laughing. And laughing. And laughing. And laughing. And laughing. And laughing. And laughing. And laughing. And laughing. And laughing. And laughing. And laughing. It was maddening. So he torched the sweeperguy and blew up the snake house. He somersaulted towards the end of Snake Way. He made it and jumped up to the above planet. He landed daintilly on the grass. "I heard people have trouble with the gravity. Weird." Rick happened upon a sleeping blueish guy. Rick threw stuff at him.
He woke up, "Huh? Who'sgotthesnitch?"
He was too groggy to know what fandom he was in. Rick threw his car at him.
King Kai did the usual things. "Tell me a joke, biyatch."
"You," Rick said darkly.
King Kai stood silent for a moment before bellowing in chuckles. "Nice. Low blow, kid. Whaddya want?"
"Err... Teach me to be more powerful."
King Kai thought about this for a momement. He stroked his whiskers. "Hmm..
"
Rick waited several, several minutes before giving up on the Old Man North King Kai of Erebor or Something. As he was walking away, King Kai muttered, "It was always inside you, the power, Hideki Ryuzaki."
Rick looked back exasperatedly, "Weak."
((500 exactly))
