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Maynin
'19' 57: Oh look! Some of the earlier text got cut off. Guess we'll never know what was there, 'cause I sure as heck don't remember
[19:24:34] Maynin : You know I likehate to read back on some of my first posts here. More emphasis on the hate. Well wasn't I a cringy little tween! Did I really fall into the agressive 13-16 year old trope that tons of cringy RP girls do?
[19:25:05] Maynin : I would laugh if it didn't make me groan in shame.
[19:28:54] Maynin : I've gotten a little older, I think. Old enough that I know I'm not that old. Things have been coming and going so fast these days, I can't take it all in. Or enjoy much for that matter, things have been tough. I've got an appointment with a psychologist soon for hearing things that aren't there, feeling love or anger towards a certain three 'voices', I suppose, that I know aren't real, you know? Like manifested feelings. In your head.
[19:30:18] Maynin : I don't know. I'm just typing away here for my own sake. There are people I can talk to out in the *gasp* real world, but it just isn't the same as ranting here, you know? Where the good times are at
[19:31:33] Maynin : I still get a little jump in my heart when I think about my time here. I'm even getting a little teary-eyed just typing here again. It feels good, you know? Even though it could be years before one of you see this again. Maybe never.
[19:31:47] Maynin : Isn't it weird how we all went our own ways?
[19:35:00] Maynin : I think it's weird thinking about the people on the other sides of the screen that had othet things to do. Adult things to do. Adulting? Getting a job and stuff? It's weird to think about, we used to RP every day almost, I used to think about it every day. Now I have so much going on it's like a passing thought, a little thing that didn't matter.
[19:36:14] Maynin : Well, it did, I think. I think I'm a little more aware than back then, a little more mellow and a little less stupid. I'm going to go as far as to say you were the folks that helped me into it, considering I still RP to this day.
[19:39:59] Maynin : Nothing much going on. Work, work, classes, pain from injuries a bit more than papercuts and hot oil burns, what a twist! Little things I wouldn't have ever guessed could ever happen to me back then. Join the set builders in theatres? Who knew? Lifelong back and knee pains? It isn't tragic, just interesting. It's weird thinking about how back then I never could have known this was going to happen.
[19:40:57] Maynin : I've got some animals now, little parakeets with JoJo names. They don't have anything to do with anything, just tossing that in there for fun. Like I said at the start. Just easy and feels good to type here again.
[19:42:40] Maynin : It's sort of like speaking to a ghost, a big, forgotten ghost. Nothing to lose here, who's gonna see it that knows me irl? I'll probably post this up in the Discussion later, feel good for a bit, and regret it for seeming too clingy later
[19:44:02] Maynin : Oh, you know what would be fun? Maybe make a bunch of random accounts with different emails to see if Rick still gets notified of them, play a little trick three years after the fade
[19:44:07] Maynin : THE FADE
[19:44:45] Maynin : Still a better title than The Fault in Our Stars, I think. Nah
[19:45:08] Maynin : Maybe that's the big change, I actually think now
[19:45:44] Maynin : Wow! Over 20 minutes of talking to nothing! How lonely I am XD
[19:46:33] Maynin : Not really, but it does feel a little like talking to a ghost. Something I love now as much as I loved then
[19:47:38] Maynin : You make me happy, you made my cringy tween years happy. You're all adulting now, have jobs and careers, probably some sweet stuff, girlfriends, anyone?
[19:49:04] Maynin : I've made other RPs, happy, successful RPs with people I love, but nothing really beats this place in the end. Maybe look out for me in other RPs here on Foru, I'll probably be called Kodiak or Kivic. I'll probably be eating soap or something
[19:50:05] Maynin : I'll have a job soon too, my own car and house, maybe someone to call my own? I think I have too many platonic loves to love redly like that. Redly
[19:50:40] Maynin : Also...Seras...Riza...blood...badass killer
[19:50:55] Maynin : Was that a Hellsing reference?! All these years?
[19:51:15] Maynin : And Rick! Is that pfp Cecil Baldwin?!
[19:52:49] Maynin : I'm starting to get antsy now, in a bit of pain laying down, so I think I'll get up and move a bit. Thank you for making me happy. Thank you for giving me the time of my life
20? :03 I wonder if ten years from now this place really will be a passing thought, like something I have to really think about before remembering details. What wad my character's name? Manyin and Ciel? No, Ciel was the name change. Maybe a few months from now I'll check back in, but I'll probably be ghosting about for awhile, with the guests. Maybe in another year I'll write something else. You know the dates March 3rd and April 14th haven't left my head since. Little holidays of mine, I treat myself on them.
